Our town, Angelic, is a promising utopia where people can come to live a peaceful life in accordance with the teachings of the Bible. The town was founded and based on Christian values and ideals. The Christian religion is fostered and promoted here; therefore, all of the people in our town will devote and dedicate themselves toward being a good Christian member of our community.
Our town was designed around the Catholic Cathedral, which is based directly in the center of our community. Surrounding the church there are two cemeteries and two parks. We are a small and rural town. The shops and homes of the townspeople are sparsely distributed. Many of our residents depend greatly on their farms. Family’s pass down their agricultural land from generation to generation. There is no slavery in our town. Also, women and people of all races are treated alike. We do not promote segregation.
As for the development of capital and income, our town winery provides the main source revenue. However, the winery is hidden from plain view behind a forest, and across town away from the homes of our residents and the center of town. This is very important so that our town is kept clean and our values are still instilled. We try our very best to ensure that our town remains small and close-knit, unlike a big city. Visitors and tourists alike are welcome to our town; however, we do not provide or allow them a permanent residence. Although we screen all vendors, we welcome a free and open trade market.
Because of our strong values, strict screening process, and the close-knit relationship between the residents of our community we are able to maintain our town. Our utopian town, Angelic, is saturated with the morals of Christian teachings. Each member will dedicate their lives to the survival of our town and the church. The people work in harmony and a peaceful habitat is created for all of our members and visitors.
Rose, the idea of building your Utopia around one religion is different. I like that your thesis thoroughly describes the intention you guys had in mind. However, it seems as though the second and third paragraphs do not support or even mention the thesis. Then the thesis reappears in the last paragraph in another form. My suggestion is that you guys need to give more details that support the thesis. For instance, in the thesis you guys mentioned that the people of the town will “devote and dedicate themselves toward being a good Christian member…” It’d be a good idea if you guys talk about how the people go about doing that. How do the people devote or dedicate themselves? Through community service, charity work, going to church daily, etc? Maybe if you guys talk more about that, then the essay will be stronger. The second thing that I suggest is fixing the map. From what I saw the map looked interesting, but it’s hard to tell when I can’t see the whole thing. When posting an image, make sure that you edit the html code so that it allows the picture to be viewed with the scrollbar or with the maximizing option. Another thing that I suggest is to cut out the unnecessary space in the picture, this way the focus will be on the map and not on anything else. I also suggest that you guys don’t start a sentence with the word “because.” Instead, you guys can use a word like “since,” this is just as effective as “because.” Overall, this post was enjoyable to read. Good job!
Posted by: Anh Doan | October 19, 2004 at 04:00 PM
Perhaps you might want to consider the moral implications of a "screening process" as well. Is this a utopia or simply a gated community operating under a pretty euphemism?
Posted by: Derek | November 19, 2004 at 11:50 AM